We often hear people talk about relying on God’s strength through the difficult times.  But what does that look like?  How do we find strength for the long haul, especially when we are so tired?

We can learn from the ways Jesus handled His own caregiving responsibilities while on Earth.

• He frequently spent time alone in prayer
• He often prayed with His closest friends
• He publicly thanked God the Father for what God had provided.
• He faced each crisis with calm assurance because He had placed His confidence in God
• He delegated work to other people
• He grieved the losses of those He loved with a sense of hope, because He had an eternal perspective

I am sure if you think and pray upon it, you will find many examples from Jesus’ life that model for us the attributes that can make our caregiving more rewarding and fulfilling. But even if we just focus on the above points, we can grow closer to our Lord as we do the work of being His hands and feet for our loved ones.

Look to Jesus as your ultimate model of a healthy caregiver (emotionally and spiritually), and follow His example in your own caregiving work.  Obviously prayer is an important part of this, as many of his techniques involved prayer.  If you are at a loss for prayer, don’t worry.  God already gave us one;  The Lord’s Prayer.  Don’t forget to ask others to pray for you and your family as you navigate this difficult time of life.  I know when I have had my greatest pain and hardships, I could actually feel the prayers of others when I felt too lost to pray myself.

Jesus faced each crisis with calm assurance because He had placed His confidence in God.  We need to ask ourselves if we are keeping God’s promises forefront in our mind; which can be difficult to do when overwhelmed with your own life, plus taking care of someone.  How can I switch over to this calm assurance?  For myself, I leave post it notes on the mirror in my bathroom.  Little inspirational sayings or bible verses.  Goodness knows that my mind is so busy thinking of what I have to do next, that these positive thoughts might never enter my brain if I don’t have some sort of reminder.  The same goes for the eternal perspective.  Reminders and prayers definitely help.

Yes, Jesus delegated.  You can too!  Using the Genus™ app, you can create a care circle of friends and family to provide respite care or perhaps a meal.  If your church is involved with using Genus™, then maybe you can enlist help there as well.  Don’t feel you shouldn’t ask for help.  Jesus asked for help.   Remember that you are providing an opportunity for others to be blessed by being His hands and feet for your loved one.  Being a martyr and trying to do it all yourself doesn’t honor God or your loved one.

Jesus did all these things and more.  We can use him as our Givers of Care Role Model.  He wants to help.  All we have to do is ask!

God has entrusted to be a Giver of Care for our loved one.  He/she i into our capable hands.  Whew!  He has ENTRUSTED us!  That statement alone can change one’s perspective.  As incapable as we may feel, He will provide the strength we need.  All we need to do is ask for His help, rather than relying on our own limited power.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with al your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 

Trust Him…. Does that mean I have to stop focusing on me and how unfair life is right now?  I know that left to my own devices, I can be self-centered.  I can get bothered by the inconvenience of caring for my parents, and then I feel guilty.   I don’t think that is what God had in mind when He entrusted me with my parents’ care.  However, even the mundane tasks of caregiving can become spiritual experiences for us and our loved ones.  Transforming our hearts; transforming our loved one’s life.

While your work as a caregiver is vitally important, don’t make the mistake of defining yourself by the services you perform. Instead, ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you and focus on the fact that you are a child of God being the hands and feet of Christ for another one of His children.  Ask Him to help you understand how your caregiving fits into His overall purpose for your life. Place your trust in the fact that God’s grace will always be there to give you the help you need.

Let your love for God flow into all areas of your life, especially this most important duty of caregiving.  Try thanking God for the opportunity to be HIS hands and feet for one of HIS children.   When my dad was alive, battling Alzheimer’s, I didn’t do this.  But with my mom and her dementia, I am able to thank God for our times together.  I have a much better attitude with my mom than I did with my dad.  Coincidence?  I think not.  It seems that this time around I have added gratitude and increased prayer time to my arsenal.

God’s message is spread through God’s children.  We, as caregivers, are His children, providing loving care to another one of His children.  We are furthering His kingdom when we provide vital care for someone in need.  What greater honor can there be?

I pray that God can help me keep this focus, rather than focusing on how tired and/or inconvenienced I am.  By asking God to help me keep this focus, then I know I can do it.  And while I’m at it, I can pray for all the other millions of Givers of Care out there as well.  We need to help each other!

Your caregiving story is a part of the greater story God is writing for the world.  As you spend time with the loved one you’re caring for, see if you can find points of connection between your two stories.   Your lives connect in shared compassion, intimacy, and revelation. As you care for your loved one, remember that God has the power to redeem yours AND your loved one’s story – changing it for the better in ways that will matter for eternity.

Recognize the significance of the times you share with your loved one. When you both enter each other’s stories, you can make connections that will matter forever. Even your most mundane work (like changing your loved one’s diapers or driving him or her to the doctor) isn’t just physical.  Rather, it can be a spiritual experience, if we allow it.

However, we are human.  We get overwhelmed, discouraged, and tired.  In our exhaustion, it’s hard to remember these important and faith strengthening ideals.   That’s when we need to rely on prayer.  Sometimes the prayer is a memorized “Lord’s Prayer”, other times it is a more intimate conversation with God.  Either way, God knows what is in your heart.  If you’re too tired to get “real” with your prayers, it’s okay.  He knows. He understands.  That’s why He gave the Lord’s prayer.  It covers the bases:

• Our Holy Father
• Thy will be done
• Give us this day our daily bread ( many interpret this as strength)
• Forgive us and help us forgive
• Keep us from temptation and evil

And remember, God has a plan for all of this.  We might not see it.  But it’s there.  Pray for Him to reveal His purpose and shower you with His grace.  He often reveals himself during our trials as it is when we are hurting that we are more open to Him.

Jeremiah 29:11

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What does God tell us about suffering and hardship? People who trust God are not exempt from difficult life circumstances. But we also know, we have the Ultimate Support at our disposal during hardship: God’s Grace. Being a Giver of Care as well as a Receiver of Care can often be a hardship. A struggle that can involve great suffering. It’s one of life’s biggest challenges. But we have hope. Thank God for that!

Did you know that suffering and glory are often linked in the New Testament? Some of my favorite passages on this topic:
• 1 Peter 5:10 – After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
• Romans 8:18 – I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
• 1 Peter 2:21 – For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you.
Our Lord promises to help us through our suffering. If the loved one you are caring for is a believer, then sharing these passages during your visit may provide relief for their suffering.

In our family, we use the Moments module of the Genus™ App to provide some pictures of favorite bible versus to share with our mom when we visit. By doing a Google search for bible verses that give hope, then click on the Images tab, and you will find loads of them. I took a picture of bible verse with my phone, and added it to the Moments module. Mom loves it when we share these verses of hope, and it’s all at our finger tips using Genus™. Not only does she appreciate the messages, they truly serve to lift her mood and spirit, which is what we are doing this for in the first place: providing the best emotional, physical and spiritual support for our loved ones.

Remember that there is pain and suffering in life, especially in a caregiving situation. But with God’s help, we can not only endure, but we can overcome, and find the glory in the midst of the chaos. That, my friends, is the purpose of our suffering. We can use God’s grace to not only endure our troubles, but to shine through them, in His light, showing others that God does provide love, hope, and encouragement in our darkest times.