Tag: givers of care

I Want To Go Home!

Posted on by genushealth Posted in Care Stories, For young givers of care, UnderstandingTagged , , , , ,

If you are caring for emotionally distraught loved one who uses the “I want to go home!”  phrase over and over; then you have probably felt some frustration with how to respond to that.   If your Receiver of Care is in a facility, or another person’s home; then it is understandable why they are saying that phrase repeatedly.  However, what if your Receiver of Care is already home?  How should you respond?  What will calm your loved one down?  What are they really saying?

Maybe the following story, about a young Giver of Care, Anna, will provide some light on the subject:

Anna was a sweet 13 year old girl, who was emotionally distraught over some sad family situations.   Her grandfather was suffering from Alzheimer’s and her parents were in the middle of a very sad divorce.  It was a very lonely and troubling time for Anna.   One night, things seemed more than she could bear.  ‘”Dad…I want to go home… I want to go home.. I want to go home”, she kept repeating, through her broken sobs.

Her Dad, trying to comfort his daughter, asked Anna to explain what she meant.  His heart broke for his daughter, as she answered through her tears, “Back to when everything was okay, when we were traveling, singing, camping, and everything was okay!”

What a profound moment for Anna’s dad.  As he was sitting in his home with his upset daughter, he realized HOME is not necessarily a physical place.  HOME is a safe place.  A time when things were good.  Bingo!

The following morning, Anna’s dad was visiting his father, a patient at an Alzheimer’s memory unit .   The elderly man began his visit as he often did, repetitively saying,  “I want to go home”.  Ordinarily that would lead to a ‘logical, and unproductive attempt’ to reason that this is his new home.  That morning however, armed with a deeper understanding of home, a heartfelt reply came forward.  “Yes, let’s go home Dad.”

They held hands as they walked and talked  about fond memories: when his father taught him fishing, when they built a tree house together and even how his father decided to ask his mom for her hand in marriage.  It wasn’t long before the elderly gentleman felt peace and he stopped asking to go home.  When they returned to his apartment within the memory unit he asked, “Is this where I live?  It sure seems nice!”

 Other siblings began using this same approach and over time, this helped him transition to his new and final place of residence at the memory care unit.  Equally valuable, this approach of ‘changing the subject’ led to more meaningful and healing visits for all involved!

 Research confirms, when we are upset, talking about a time when life was more pleasant is therapeutic and triggers a chemical reaction that helps brings a sense of clam.

The take away?  As a caregiver sometimes it’s simply best to accept that “being right” isn’t the answer, i.e. it’s not the time to say, “Dad, enough already .. you are home”.  It may be best to take our loved ones for a walk down memory lane!

The wonderful young woman who inspired this story is the daughter of the developer of Genus.  Anna couldn’t have been kinder to her grandfather when he was suffering with Alzheimer’s and shared many wonderful, and yes, repetitive conversations about his past.

What Are Young Givers of Care

Posted on by genushealth Posted in For young givers of careTagged , , ,

Our team at genusConnect™ recognizes the value of involving our children in the care of our parents.   It is why we have a special section dedicated to Young Givers of Care.  It is our unique belief that much is to be gained by everyone with actively involving our kids in the care of the aging members of their families.

In my family, the teenage members who have grown up with grandparents suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s, are now part of the care community using the Genus App.  Those that can drive are involved by doing some of the shopping and easier errands.  They can log their visits into the App, providing important feedback for everyone.  They really enjoy taking pictures and adding them to the “Moments” platform.  Some even use the App to call their grandmother.   Get them involved and watch them go!

Who Benefits When the Children Are Involved Caring for Aging Loved Ones?

  • The Children: building of self-esteem, developing empathy, empowerment
  • Our Aging Loved Ones: love, joy, attention, and feeling of usefulness, brain engagement, physical exercise,
  • Us, the Givers of Care:  a little break for us to do other tasks while our parents are happily busy with our kids, satisfaction of knowing we are doing what’s right for all involved; building positive character traits in our children that will last a lifetime

What do we really have to lose by making this challenge in our life a Family Affair?  What is there to be gained?   I think you can see the answers.

Stress Management for Givers of Care

Posted on by genushealth Posted in Family lifeTagged , , ,

Being a caregiver for chronically ill patient can take its toll on Givers of Care.  In fact, we often just avoid thinking about it because even that adds to the stress.   Doing your homework on combating stress will benefit you and your loved one.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, who will?  And if we don’t take care of ourselves, then our loved ones suffer as well.

This article from the Mayo Clinic addresses this issue and provides some helpful tips for combating stress.  In a very clear, organized fashion, the Mayo Clinic staff has gathered information on signs of stress, risk factors, and strategies for dealing with caregiver stress

Millennials As Caregivers

Posted on by genushealth Posted in For young givers of careTagged , , , ,

We typically think of family caregivers as women in the Baby Boomer generation, age late 40s to late 50s. But new information from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving reveals that a full 10 percent of family caregivers are Millennials. That’s 10 million people!

The typical profile of this person is someone who is 27 years old, works part time, and has household income below the national medium.

Why this increase?

One reason is some Baby Boomers need a little help with older loved ones.  And it seems Millennials are actually happy to help.  Of course there are some circumstances where Millennials have had to step up for the care of their own parents.  After all, diseases like early onset Alzheimer’s are being diagnosed more frequently.  But for the most part, Millennials are helping Boomers take care of what is left of the Greatest Generation and perhaps the first wave of Boomers.

Millennials who are supposed to be at a stage of life where they are absorbed in their own careers and families.  Often they are balancing a career, getting advanced degrees, caregiving and raising children, making them some of the youngest to handle sandwich generation stress.   This makes caregiver Millennials a unique group.  Of those 10 million Millennial caregivers, there is an equal split between men and women.  That’s a little different than the typical caregiver demographic, which skews toward women.  But Millennials attitudes toward masculinity have changed and men are more likely to see themselves as nurturers, too.  For additional data on millennial caregivers, see this article.

Technology Millennials Use

The genus™ App is truly something Millennials gratefully grasp onto.  They grew up with technology and embrace the opportunity to use it to provide the best care possible for their loved ones.   With so many Millennials having to work far from where their parents live, having a tool like the genus™ App allows them to fulfill their career goals while attending to family responsibilities.   They are thrilled to have a platform that coordinates outside help, visits, medical information, and valuable resources, all ready to be accessed at the touch of a button.