Teaching Our Loved Ones to Ask for Help

rings5Most people want to be independent and do not want to be a burden on the family, hesitating to ask us for the help they need. When dealing with a family member who still has fairly strong cognitive abilities, we can only know where to provide help if we can teach our loved one to ask for help.  Of course we will see some obvious areas where help is needed, but in order to provide the best possible care, we need him/her to be open with us.

Teaching our Parents

When dealing with my father’s Alzheimer’s and my mother’s declining physical health, we had to convince Mom that it was better for us, if she could try to communicate her exact needs to us.   Once she realized that she was “helping” us by asking for what she needed,  then she could do it more easily.   We just needed to turn the tables for her realize that the best way to help us help her, was to be as specific as she could about what she needed.

When Mom saw some of the systems of organization (scheduling, medical, legal and communication) we had in place using the Genus™ App, she could see how knowing what help was needed ahead of time, could help us plan more efficiently and save us time in the end.   Thus, allowing a better quality of life for us all, not just Mom and Dad.  We had to convince Mom that by allowing her children to help with Dad’s Alzheimer’s, she was giving us a chance to give back to them.   She was enabling us to feel empowered about this frustrating and heartbreaking situation.  Again, it took some time for this change to take place, but with loving reminders from her children, she was able to more clearly communicate to us what exactly she needed help with.  This in turn, saved us valuable time as we tried to efficiently manage our personal lives along with caring for our parents.

Four Areas of Safety

But what about when our loved ones don’t even know what they need help with?   Whether it is because of a cognitive decline, or just the fact that our person of care is completely overwhelmed, he/she cannot communicate where exactly help is needed.   It is in this instance we need to remember that there are four areas of their safety to consider.

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Medical
  • Financial

It might seem overwhelming at first, but if we break it down into these 4 categories and tackle them one at a time, it is definitely doable.   In the Genus™ App, there are numerous articles, videos, and resources centered around these 4 areas of care:

Physical:  Think basic needs.  Food, shelter, clothing, water.  Also think about their mobility and pain factor, although this crosses over with medical.

Emotional:  Is our loved one getting the social interaction daily that is needed?  How about their mood?  Is your POC staying positive?  Do they need more social interaction?  You can track this using the Genus App.

Medical:  Do you have all the important documents and medical information filed in one place?  Are you tracking any specific vitals that need to be communicated to the doctor?  Do you have Medical POA?  If not, who does?

Legal and Financial:  Who is on the bank accounts with your loved one?  Who is helping him/her keep track of spending and finances?   What about plans for the future?

All of these areas are equally important, but some may take priority over others, depending on the situation and depending on timing.  One thing you can be sure of, things change constantly when caring for a loved one.  Keeping track of the changes is what can make the difference between a more positive experience and a very frustrating experience.  The best piece of advice I have here is:  Keep documenting, everything.  You won’t be sorry.  I found that by using the Genus™ App, I could more easily track the mounds of vital information.  Keeping me from feeling completely overwhelmed. Better yet, feeling as if we really have this situation under control.  That truly is the most comforting feeling of all when facing the challenge of caring for a loved one.  Knowing that this person we love so dearly is getting the best possible care we can provide.

Joe’s Story

1385105_700848013258784_1016502632_ngenusConnect™ was fueled by our own experiences and a true desire to care better for our loved ones. For me, it all started when my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. Like many people, before seeing it firsthand, I thought that an Alzheimer’s diagnosis meant my dad would be leaving his keys in the fridge, and forgetting what day it was. I, and my entire family, were in for the surprise of our lives.

My father, challenged with Alzheimer’s.

My dad was a loving father and husband, and a talented businessman who made us all proud. A man of his word, Dad lived by the standards he set for himself and others. When Alzheimer’s began to set in, he was at a loss for what was happening to his once impenetrable mind. He tried to cover it up, and my mom did too – afraid to confront the reality of this new stage of their life together.

My six brothers and sisters and I wanted to believe the situation wasn’t dire. We wanted to hold out hope that a cure would come along and return to us the strong, proud father we knew and loved. None of us were trained to be givers of care. At times, we pulled away, leaned on one another too much, or fell off the grid altogether.

We needed a better way to stay connected.

I suppose that’s one of the reasons genusConnect™ is focused on helping caregivers stay connected – so they can jump back in anytime, from anywhere. We had, and have, a strong, extensive family of loving individuals, but as hard as we tried, we couldn’t figure out a way for our siblings, spouses and children to work together to provide the best possible care for a father and grandfather we loved dearly.

In our desperation, we tried everything, from online calendars to Google Docs and family meetings to conference calls. We wanted to know, at a glance, who was spending time with Dad and relieving Mom of her caregiving duties, and whether we should stop by. We quickly realized the need to integrate home care services, task lists, grocery needs and planning documents – even more complex projects like financial planning and power of attorney.

genusConnect™ takeaway:  A need for coordinated communications

Last inTouch:  One of the first features you’ll see when you use genusConnect™, Last inTouch ensures that at a glance, you’ll know last time anyone in your community has visited or called the person of care, as well as your own Last inTouch.
Smart scheduler:  To help encourage check-ins, genusConnect™ will prompt caregivers to call or stop in, taking into account others’ activities and our own defined goals of contacts.
Calendar: With a shared community calendar, genusConnect™ allows you to stay organized, view social engagements, medical visits and more.
Task lists: Task and grocery lists allow users to clearly communicate needs, allowing all members of the community of care to be more effective and efficient.

The great escape, a midnight run.

While Alzheimer’s is no laughing matter, nearly every family who has been through it can tell you there are times when if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. As a large Irish family, we did more laughing that I care to admit.

One night, when Mom was out of town and my sisters were staying with Dad to make sure he got through the night without any trouble. Nan and Jane spent the evening with Dad, ensuring he got to bed ok – he was anxious with Mom out of town, but eventually calmed down enough to go to sleep. After he was in bed, they stayed up chatting and reminiscing about the good old days. Eventually, they went to bed themselves, in the bedroom next to Dad’s. Just a couple of hours later, at 1:00 a.m., they were awoken to the bright beams of flashlights in their eyes.

It was the police.

Dad had been so anxious that he left the house in the middle of the night looking for Mom. Fortunately, the police had found him just a couple of blocks away and were kind enough to return him home. Needless to say, Nan and Jane didn’t sleep lightly for many nights after that.

genusConnect™ takeaway:
Home Safety module:  Incorporate data from door sensors and motion monitors, so those in the community of care will be notified when a sensor is triggered.

‘I want to go home.’

As my father’s memories and comprehension began to fade, his ability to express his needs diminished. In his moments of greatest frustration, he always retreated to the phrase “I want to go home.” It wasn’t until my young daughter repeated that same phrase to me in her own terms, that I finally understood what he meant.

Anna’s story 

At the same time as my kids and I were slowly losing my father, my ex-wife left us. One night, my daughter, who was nine at the time, was inconsolable. Over and over, she repeated that familiar phrase, “I want to go home.”

Attempting to reason with her, I asked if she meant she wanted to see her mom. With baited breath, she said “No Dad, I want to go home, back when everything was ok. When we were camping, singing and kayaking.”

It still pains me to tell this story, but I’m grateful for the newfound understanding it brought me. Anna had communicated what my dad couldn’t. “I want to go home” meant more than a physical location, it meant the return to a happier time, when life was less complicated.

The realization offered us a new tool to help Dad through those moments. Because the oldest memories are typically the last to go, we used those moments to walk down memory lane and share our happiest stories, old photos and even music that he had enjoyed with Mom 20 years earlier.

genusConnect™ takeaway:

Moments: With this feature, users can easily send photos and audio messages directly to the person of care, or a digital photo frame in their home.

My mom, in assisted living.

Mame is 87-years-old as of this writing, and going strong. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need our help. She uses a walker to get around, and has no trouble making friends. Still, she recently ended up in the emergency room with high blood pressure, and has frequent doctor’s appointments and chronic conditions that need tending to. With seven siblings, there’s no shortage of people willing to help, but communicating the need is sometimes the most difficult of all.

In some ways she’s part of our “in-the-field” testing.

Although Mame has never used a computer (she had a failed stint with an iPad), she enjoys the Nest thermostat, for monitoring humidity and temperature in her unit, Amazon’s Alexa, for making grocery lists, a digital photo frame, which we can all send images to, and a VOIP phone that helps keep her safe from scammers.

genusConnect™ takeaway:
Open Platform: We built genusConnect™as an open platform, meaning that developers across the globe can offer their resources and services to genusConnect™ users. The latest technology – Alexa, Nest, or whatever new invention comes next – integrates easily into the app, offering users unprecedented access to resources, all in one place.

It’s my hope that genusConnect™ will help my family, and yours too, care better, together, for years to come.

 

Coming Soon: Finance Module

The finance module is coming soon to genusConnect™. With the finance module, you’ll be able to:

  1. Add a financial partner like a bank, financial planner, or accountant.
  2. Submit potential financial partners to the database for review.
  3. Show all account balances for the person of care.
  4. View and break down expenses in the chart form of your choosing.
  5. See periodic recommended services from the genusConnect™ network, check out news and more.

Coming Soon: CaREpay

CaREpay is coming soon to genusConnect™. With CaREpay, you’ll be able to:

  1. Enter a bill either by entering in information or taking a picture of it with your device.
  2. Arrange to have bills emailed to you and auto-populated in your caREpay module on behalf of your person of care.
  3. Pay bills directly from your device through your bank account or credit card.
  4. Submit receipts for expenses incurred for the person of care and post them for the other network members to review.
  5. Request assistance from one or more other network members for payment with a bill. Bills can be split among two or more members.
  6. View a complete history of bills payed by all network members.
  7. View a copy of the a bill.
  8. Enter bills using your device’s camera and logged into the system.

Coming Soon: Voice Companion

Voice companion is coming soon to genusConnect™. With voice companion, you’ll be able to:

  1. View a complete history of logged voice commands from your voice companion.
  2. Manage the different personalities available on your voice companion.
  3. Set up medicine reminders for the person of care.
  4. Set up programmed health tips for the person of care.
  5. Send a message to the person of care through your voice companion.

Coming Soon: Concierge Module

The concierge module is coming soon to genusConnect™. With the concierge module, you’ll be able to:

  1. View our vast list of partners, with whom necessary services are only a touch away. From the concierge module, you can request varying degrees of service to the person of care’s location. From home care visits to flower delivery, the genusConnect™ concierge allows you to book and pay for services right from the app. The list of services continues to grow as we build strong relationships within the caregiving industry.

Have a service or product that would be a good fit for genusConnect™? Contact us today to get your business listed.

Coming Soon: Safety Module

The safety module is coming soon to genusConnect™. With the safety module, you’ll be able to:

  1. Pair Bluetooth® appliances to your genusConnect™ app and monitor whether the appliance is on and, if so, for how long.
  2. Monitor doors with with Bluetooth® sensors to review if they’re opened or closed.
  3. Monitor windows with with Bluetooth® sensors to review if they’re opened or closed.
  4. Use genusConnect™ to monitor home temperature using the latest popular hardware on the market.
  5. Install motion detectors to keep track of movement within the residence. Movement history can be tracked from within your genusConnect™ app.
  6. View camera details and monitor network cameras from within your genusConnect™ app.

Coming Soon: Locations Module

The locations module is coming soon to genusConnect™. With the locations module, you’ll be able to:

  1. Monitor the community’s location in relation to the person of care.
  2. View duration of time the person of care has spent at their current location.
  3. Check the location of the person of care.
  4. See who the closest caregiver is and how far away they are.

Emerging Tech Offers Personal Ownership of Health Data

Home SecurityAt genus,LLC., we’re excited about the future of health technology. Part of that future, as noted at the Health 2.0 Conference we attended in October, will entail increased personal ownership of health data, helping us understand our own health and wellness better than ever before. In this TED Talk video, statistician Talithia Williams highlights the power of new and emerging technologies in monitoring your own health data on a daily basis.